The misery of releasing a book

After seven months, hundreds of hours and even more revisions, I’ve released Deep in the Bin of Bob. There was a moment when I felt a surge of achievement; but the feeling immediately morphed into a pool of clear water which dribbled out of my brain, down my face, chest and feet, where it formed a puddle on the floor by my feet.

Now I’m not sure what to do with myself. I spent hours working on Deep in the Bin Bob. For a short time, I had a purpose. I was king of a small thing, a conqueror of the imagination of my own brain, a landlord of my own time and space.

Now I’m back: once again the wingman to myself.

I’ve sent my new book to a literary agent. So now, I wait. This process again. This moment of grey hope that looms over everything like a pound coin glued to the pavement.

Perhaps a literary agent will look into my work, and believe I am worth representing, or perhaps the best part of this process has already happened: the puddle at my feet.

I’ve taken to cleaning the house and seeing faces in things: the carpets, the walls and the bins.

What do you do when you’ve spent nineteen years holding a pen, only to exist forever a mile beneath a floating system controlled by the partially sighted?

What next, but to stare at my puddle, and hope for someone to attach to me wings?




Bob Has Arrived!




Amardeep Thinqir is a fourteen year old Muslim boy, and he’s keeping his thoughts to himself. He lives on a council estate in South London. He has no friends. Adults view him with mistrust. Children think he’s a weirdo. He reads books. He looks out of his bedroom window and imagines the life he wants to live that he isn’t.

We join Amardeep as he quietly stands at the foot of the tallest building he’s ever seen, with his hands over his eyes looking up with a mix of disbelief and wonderment.  A rainbow coloured hot air balloon crashes into the building. The hot air balloon is special, something beautiful in Bermondsey: a flower growing through concrete.  A girl screams from the rooftop and a big black dog falls from the sky and lands on the bonnet of a 1984 Ford Fiesta. A little old lady needs help balancing three wheelbarrows, and something unusual is happening to the weather.

Deep decides to help the old woman, journey to the hot air balloon, save the girl, and stop off along the way to deliver some bad news to the owner of a black dog and the 1984 Ford Fiesta.

Deep in the Bin of Bob is dark, funny, philosophical and packed with original thought.

This is a story that holds a magnifying glass to the cruelty of man, and delights in pointing out the sublime in the hideous.

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