The church wipe the slate clean, by saying sorry for fucking children

The church leader, inside a dark helmet invisible to the all too easily submissive, breathes in rapidly then slowly back out again. He stands at the end of a long table, thin boys stand in cages behind him; tear ducts failing, all dried out.

No women in here, they aren’t invited.

Women talk. Women might not like the unspoken rules of the club.

“All those in favour of unreservedly apologising raise your hand.”

All the men, impatient with life because they plan to really start it afterwards, stare at each other.

Nobody raises their hand.

The leader continues; his tongue rests at the base of his lip, subconsciously collecting new deposits of invisible salt.

His voice is a rasp, echoing an otherwise well hidden reptilian quality.

He rubs his nice hands together. Under his nails bits of faecal matter shift at a molecular level.

The boys, in the invisible cages they can never escape from, know all about the molecules underneath what everybody else thinks they see.

The other immaculate hands in the room rest innocently on the table out in the open; groomed to perfection, no visible lies on the surface, at least.

“Well then, who wants to fuck a bo…

A cough.

A hand rises.

The PR guy, Graham.

What does Graham know?

He hasn’t been reading the same book for 50 years because he’s scared his Dad will come back with the belt.

Graham’s an idiot.

Graham doesn’t understand what it’s like to make sacrifices to get out from the family environment, to deny the normal family home because of a negative childhood.

My mother, I wonder if her memory will ever let go of me.

Graham speaks; a wisp of a man, a twig sprouting a single green leaf loosely hanging from the end of a dead tree.

“We live in a PR world. You can’t ignore people. The world wants you to apologise. Unreservedly. If you just apologise unreservedly people might start to think well… that you are against raping boys.”

Everybody laughs.

Kind faces; white teeth.

Perfectly clean hands.

Sharp glances, thorns, connect to other sharp glances across the table; crowned eyes connect subservient minds, everybody – except Graham – understands what it’s like being married to God.

It’s so cold… so lonely.

Whisky breath, just slightly.

The laughter dies down; Graham isn’t joking, they realise.

The leader clears his throat, but doesn’t shift the scream from his windpipe.

“This has nothing to do with the bloody world. With all due respect, I think we are the experts on what our God wants us to do.”

The priests in the room nod their heads; nodding dogs on springs in the back of a car heading off a cliff.

Graham wonders when that slight change occurred, when man stopped being the servants of God, and started being his owners, to commit acts in his name as they please.

Maybe that’s the way it’s always been.

The leader continues to share his thoughts…

“I guess we could pretend to be against it. We could apologise to the world. More families will put their children in churches. More children will come to our doors.”

The room perks up.

The fat silence is replaced with a feverish mumbling; thoughts that should not be inside heads become whispers, bleached nails dig into the polished oak table.

Naked skin clams over, just slightly.

“This is God’s will.”

Confirms the leader.

Graham wonders if “God’s will” was once “God’s willy” and at some point they crossed the Y off for respectability.

Graham speaks.

“You will apologise unreservedly?”

The leader nods.

Graham knows old people never apologise, and when they do they never really mean it.

Arrogance is a thick curtain, that once pulled, reveals nothing behind it.

The leader explains to Graham none of this is really the fault of the church.

He explains religion encourages them to give up sex, and places them in the company of boys.

Really, we are the victims he says.

With no concept that they decide the rules of how they worship their God, with no recognition that somewhere in the history of their church someone decided to ban girls, and surround themselves with young boys.

A highly unnatural state, the leader admits, and Graham asks if that makes any sense at all, and the leader replies…

Of course Graham! A highly unnatural state is what God is.  

Graham wonders just how narcissistic you have to be to believe God needs you.

Graham looks out of the window, and decides next time he wants to feel God he’ll get up early, and watch daybreak.

Not the breakfast show on ITV, though he likes it, but Planet Earth twisting into a star.

There are no internal questions pounding the brain when witnessing the sunrise, just beauty.

There are no thoughts of hate when witnessing the sunrise, just peace.

Nobody blames the sunrise.

Graham thinks peace on earth and beauty is what religion claims to want to bring, but never does; never has, and according to all the evidence, never will.


The Church of England have unreservedly apologised today for abusing thousands of boys going back to the minute sexually repressed men encouraged boys away from their parents.

This is a very good thing; the first bricks in a better wall.

If you believe in God, don’t get me wrong.

I am not anti belief.

I am not an atheist.

I believe any person has a right to believe in anything they damn well want to, as long as that belief does not bring harm to others.

(The second half of that sentence is a philosophical fucknut).

I believe truth is likely found somewhere between atheism and God.

Everybody is probably not completely right, but neither is everybody completely wrong.

What I am against is the church. Please do not confuse the two.

Please do not confuse the institution of the church with God or belief.

The church is a system built by man. Inside the church, are old men, in dresses, raping boys.

The unreserved apology from The Church of England – although welcome – is proof, if you still need it, that these men, hiding beneath the protected guise of religion and rose tinted specs worn by their following, walking around in their easy to access dresses, have been raping boys since the beginning of their history.

The billions of pounds and dollars paid out worldwide in court cases to abused boys, is undeniable proof.

Don’t look away.

Don’t turn a blind eye.

Ask the internet for facts:

The church is the biggest paedophile ring in history; and if that offends you, I don’t give a fuck.

Take your glass half full and throw the contents into your face, to wake yourself up to the truth.

The truth is offensive; it opens the eyes of those who fail to see, because real life is a challenging thing.

And, obviously, all priests are not paedophiles. I understand that, but there are enough bad apples in the cart to start making any person with a conscience wonder if apples are still needed.

Good fruit rots faster, next to rotting fruit.

Only in the crazy world of religion, could an institution be proven to systematically rape boys, and still be allowed incorporate boys into the fabric of everything they do. Only in the crazy world of the church, could repeated paedophile cases come to light and the institution keep on trucking.

If I was a priest, I would hand in my collar, because I would not want to be affiliated with the vile actions of my fellow believers.

To leave your child in the care of a bloke wearing a dress, who has allegedly cut off all normal sexual contact with people his own age, because a really old book has told him to, who believes a voice speaks to him, is the most reckless deluded act a parent can make.

Stop leaving your children with old religious men in dresses.


Don’t be an idiot.

If you want to teach children about God, show them the ocean.

If you want to teach children about religion, show them the bible.

If you want to teach children about paedophilia, leave them alone with a priest.

6 thoughts on “The church wipe the slate clean, by saying sorry for fucking children

  1. Just read this article.Firstly I love the way you write,still not read your book but it’s waiting on my phone.I have a very strong faith,it came from nowhere,like you I believe God is found in the oceans and sunset.I’ve not been following you long on Twitter but I already feel a great respect for you.I’m not a reader,well not uptill 12 months ago,it’s poetry I’ve been reading.You make many valid points in this article.Thank the God I believe in for people like you.Bless you and keep up the good work,Alex Swarbrick

  2. @libby
    the entire blogpost is based on priests in the UK raping boys.
    “Abusers in any way shape and form” is a broad spectrum, and I wonder at what point the responsibility should fall on these people you speak of? At what point should the innocent, the silent, the good, make a stand and demand, because they are the majority, that changes are made?
    I was not talking about paedophilia in the broader society. You can write that article, if you like. I think the response “but they are raping more children over here!” is disappointing, to say the least.
    I do not think paedophilia is linked to homosexuality or celibacy, and nor have I at any point suggested that. To even think that very notion is (clearly) ridiculously dark and short sighted. If you have pulled out that conclusion from my blogpost, then you are talking more about how you think than I.
    I am not anti any religion or any person. I am pro people and pro choice. To make it really super clear for you: I am simply against men fucking boys.
    I have read two of those articles previously, and find them dangerous – because they do what people have already been doing for years – they make it easier for people to turn a blind eye…in fact, they go somewhere closer to justifying the silence.
    Deflection, is where failing to take responsibility begins.
    Oh, and that link you missed:

  3. Thanks for reading Word! And for the info…it’s an interesting topic…

    Twitter is flooded with people calling Obama a monster because he said he likes Broccoli, which is actually good advice to give a kid, far better than saying he eats McDonald’s.

    People are happy to rant about Broccoli, but turn a blind eye to men raping boys.

    The only difference between hating on Obama for eating Broccoli and not hating on priests for raping children – is it’s socially acceptable to hate on Obama – whereas everybody else is desperate to appear the most religious, so they get a sticker from their neighbours and parents.

    So even when it’s clear eating Broccoli is not a crime and it’s a good thing, and raping children is a crime and it’s evil, because the majority of people are hating on Broccoli, everybody else does to.

    They even deny the sexual assaults.

    That is what insanity is.

    That is the cowardice of the crowd.

    We have become a morally fucked up society of ostrich people, and we are running out of sand.

  4. Very effective writing. Creepy. Well done on a tough subject.

    A piece of historical trivia: Priestly celibacy didn’t become mandatory in the Catholic Church until sometime in the 1100s (if memory serves), because the Church as an institution wanted to keep all of its land intact and not see bits of it parceled out to priests’ children. Presto, the celibacy requirement (which could be, and was, repeatedly broken… but not in any way that threatened the legalities of land-owning by the Church).

    It was never a good idea, and making it mandatory only made things worse.

  5. Your blog appears very one sided & bigoted 😦
    Your last sentence in particular appears quite bizarre & unfair to the thousands plus religious individuals that are not abusers in any way, shape or form
    You make mention of the C of E and RC Churches but there are also many religious institutions out there that are very secretive and we may not know what is occurring perhaps for many years yet.
    You appear to have ignored the sex abuse in the UK council run institutions. This has been an issue for decades (& cases are still coming to light). At the end of an investigation the public are faced with sober looking social workers / councillors / MP’s declaring that such things will never occur again. Each time an apology is issued it seems like deja vu!
    You make no mention that vulnerable youngsters most likely to be abused by parent (s), sibling(s) or other close family members.
    I add the following links (in relation to the RC church) which you may find interesting… & throw up some interesting facts ie/ homosexuality / celibacy are not factors with regards to paedophilia!!
    Best wishes

  6. Might be worth your while reading this and this
    You refer to the C of E & Catholics as if these are the only institiutions where abuse has occurred, however other religions are strict and secretive and it may be that similar is going on there as well…but we might not be aware of it…yet. (maybe we won’t know for a few years!).
    Re: your last sentence the inference is that ONLY “religious types” are paedophiles but tell that to the kids up / down the land who have / are being abused in state run institutions
    It’s a huge prob. Personally for what it’s worth I think that abusers come in all shapes/sizes/colours & creeds and pointing fingures at any one particular group does a diservice to other victims.. 😉

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