The misery of releasing a book

After seven months, hundreds of hours and even more revisions, I’ve released Deep in the Bin of Bob. There was a moment when I felt a surge of achievement; but the feeling immediately morphed into a pool of clear water which dribbled out of my brain, down my face, chest and feet, where it formed a puddle on the floor by my feet.

Now I’m not sure what to do with myself. I spent hours working on Deep in the Bin Bob. For a short time, I had a purpose. I was king of a small thing, a conqueror of the imagination of my own brain, a landlord of my own time and space.

Now I’m back: once again the wingman to myself.

I’ve sent my new book to a literary agent. So now, I wait. This process again. This moment of grey hope that looms over everything like a pound coin glued to the pavement.

Perhaps a literary agent will look into my work, and believe I am worth representing, or perhaps the best part of this process has already happened: the puddle at my feet.

I’ve taken to cleaning the house and seeing faces in things: the carpets, the walls and the bins.

What do you do when you’ve spent nineteen years holding a pen, only to exist forever a mile beneath a floating system controlled by the partially sighted?

What next, but to stare at my puddle, and hope for someone to attach to me wings?




17 thoughts on “The misery of releasing a book

  1. Hi what you do while you’re waiting to hear back from the agent is to begin ANOTHER book! Yes, it is better because a) it takes your mind of the long wait and b) if the agent asks if you have anything else to hand you can go ‘TA DA!’ and hold it up!
    I’ve got 3 books on the go, all at the AF (Almost Finished) stage and me being the world’s Numero Uno Procrastinator they’ve been AF for quite a while! But I’m working on one of the books right now and hope to be able to change its status to CF (Completely Finished) very soon!
    Good luck.

  2. I had no luck with agents for my first mystery, Truth Kills, so I queried a small independent press and was accepted. It’s a lot more work on my part, because the publisher doesn’t handle publicity or make contacts for me, but now that my first book is in print and ebook, I feel that I may have a shot at an agent in the future. If agents continue to reject you, try some of the small publishers. Good luck in your writing career.

  3. Good luck on the query process, you deserve even greater success. I too am going through the process now. I vow to only get slightly discourage after I’ve received my 100th rejection letter/email. 99 to go.


    Sent from my iPad


    1. Thanks! I’ve had two agents before, and a whole load of close shaves and book deals falling out at the last minute and all sorts. Fingers crossed if #BinOfBob finds me my third agent…it’s third time lucky! (though, no agent could be worse than my last!).

      Best of luck to you too Deirdre. x

  4. Time to set the book aside and start on the next one. I’m avoiding the “there’s nothing to do” feeling by doing two settings in tandem. If that isn’t a good idea, just take a short break and come back later to do something new then. In either case, best of luck.

    1. Cheers! – Ha, well, I’ve not got 3 novels out – and a weird funny picture book. That’s plenty for me. I put so much truth and fack knows what else of me in my novels, I don’t have the strength to write another. For now at least. Plenty out there for people to see what I can do. I should probably start thinking about getting a real job, so I can afford a life. Fack, lives look so expensive. Maybe I’ll write about the one I couldn’t afford from a distance. Hmm…

      1. Perhaps indulging in a pile of reading, engaging your mind in the world of others? Grinding endlessly at books will eventually drain you, so recharge on enjoying someone else’s work.

    1. Wha? Two things to remember. Hmm…this just got complicated. Hang on, usually I don’t think about breathing. How do I do it again? ASDPOP Hbp.

      Wait, I’m back. Slight panic attack. Don’t worry, I’ve totally got this ๐Ÿ˜‰

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