America: will the last person left please shoot out the lights?

Woah, America. Another mass shooting. This time it’s racist. Next time it might be racist, or a terrorist attack, or whatever category the media decide to label it under to avoid looking in the mirror – three things we can predict with some certainty about next time: the killer will be a young male. In his hand will be a gun. And there will be a next time.

Something is terribly, terribly wrong.

Gun control has failed. None of us have control over anything.  Not even Obama is in control. We need to control to feel safe, but control is a lie. You should be afraid, hell, you should be fucking terrified – not because of guns, but because we live in a world where citizens from the self-appointed land of morality are genuinely convinced that only with the capacity to cause death, can they feel safe. Fuck that.

In America when a teenager hates the world, when they say they are going to kill somebody, they are never far from a gun, and the capacity to act out the rage of being young. They can pick up a gun and replace frustration with becoming a God.

Alfred said some men just want to watch the world burn – well, here’s the horrible truth about young adults: at some point, every single teenager in their petulant selfish minds, has wanted to kill their own parents and set fire to the world just because. No reason, just because. In America, that because is a possibility because America is littered with weapons. But not just that: young Americans also have to suffer the complete bullshit of the American Dream. The notion that belief and hard work will turn you into a millionaire and a sexy movie star that all the girls want to party with. The American Dream is essentially an ideology that makes 99% of Americans feel like worthless failures. It’s based on a false premise: that you, right now, are not good enough – and you need to change.

To balance the bullshit of The American Dream, here’s some truth for young American adults:

You will die one day, and about twenty people will come to your funeral, ten of those will turn up for the free booze and four of those will shed a tear. Later it will be revealed that one of the people crying didn’t even know you, and they were crying for attention from strangers to fill a void from their own childhood. So, relax. There is no pressure to become anything because you already are. You can be happy without money. You don’t need to be famous, or beautiful. You don’t need to achieve anything. Right now, as you read this, you are the achievement. You are the culmination of millions of years of evolution. The reflection of love. A miracle. And remember, us adults don’t have a clue what we are doing. We are pretty miserable sometimes too. We don’t have any real answers. Get drunk, and learn to laugh about it – because life is actually funny. God doesn’t give a shit about you. He literally couldn’t care less that you imagine shagging your teacher. In fact, he’s more likely to be all for it considering the pressures of the bigger picture. Everyone is just as lost as everyone else. So laugh at failing. Enjoy your flaws. Revel in average: because that’s all everybody is. Even Justin Bieber shits. Consider who we look up to, and feel better about yourself, not worse: actors are adults who have to remember words in an order and speak them into a camera. And they genuinely think this makes them special. Models need to walk in a straight line and look like they’ve just stood on a nail. Learning to love average is the most beautiful fucking lesson you will ever learn. Learning to appreciate that everyone else is as useless as you think you are is a massive step towards giving yourself a break and cutting yourself some slack.

In America young adults should be in their bedrooms, masturbating six times a day….but not in America, where the bible bashing masses make masturbation a sin. The only release a young guy has at times is to ejaculate into a sock, but no, he can’t have that. But, he can have a gun. Religion and the church in America are bedfellows – the right want your teenager to be sleeping with a gun under their pillow. Masturbation is ungodly, but polishing a gun and firing it makes you an American. And God loves Americans. And the cunt hates a sinner. Polish that gun kid, rub it as hard as you can. Hold your breath. Focus. Squeeze the trigger. Fire out a bullet. But something doesn’t feel right does it? There’s a simmering rage beneath everything you do because the rules you follow make no fucking sense. And so a young adult starts to see the world as hypocritical – this is the start of going fucking mental. What if these serial killers are not entirely mental, but a consequence of a series of treatable causes, which lead eventually to acts that appear insane by our definition because we have absolutely no way to understand them because as adults we have become blind to our own bullshit?

Gather around your constitution America and tell me what it really means, because I can’t see the signature on your precious piece of paper because it’s covered in the blood of the innocent.

If I had a job where I was so afraid to perform it, that the only way I could do my job was to carry a gun and have the idea in my head that at any minute I might die or have to kill someone – and then I defended my right to carry the weapon because my job was dangerous and it demanded it – well, if I had that job, I would complain to the management. I wouldn’t want that job. Nobody in their right mind would want that job.

But, if you are an American Citizen that is your job (and worryingly, that’s also the job description of a US Marine). And you aren’t even getting paid for this job. And you don’t even decide if you want it or not. From an outsider looking in, your job is becoming bloody terrifying. You are being abused. Living in fear is abuse. Thinking you need a gun to be safe, is madness. A land where books shops are closing and gun shops are booming cannot be the home of the mostly rational thinkers.

If you question your own safety, the answer is not more guns: the answer is to figure out why you are really afraid. The answer is less bullshit: as an American parent or teacher, or any parent anywhere, stop drilling into the youth of today that happiness and financial success are the same thing. Stop making teenagers feel guilty for wanking – stop bashing adventure over the head with The Bible, and stop masking your failures and lack of bravery in confronting the rules you didn’t agree with as a child, by teaching your children about guns as an adult. Perhaps if you had called bullshit a few more times when you were a kid, you wouldn’t have grown into an adult who thinks you need a gun to protect yourself.

Teach your teenage kids to express disagreement, make sure they understand that wanking isn’t a sin in any book that makes sense and remember to teach them that the American Dream is entirely bullshit – replace it instead with the beautiful reality of being entirely average.

Enough already. And stop invading countries under the pretence of helping people – it’s a total dick move. And kind of embarrassing to anyone not blinded by American media.


2 thoughts on “America: will the last person left please shoot out the lights?

  1. Great post. Their arrogance refuses to let them see the tragedy…. On a related note, saw my old maths teacher in Tesco the other week. Thankfully, I’m not American….

  2. Love your rant and couldn’t agree more. Our fear-based culture has gone completely insane. How bad does it need to get before the US reconsiders its values? Are we spiraling so out of control that there’s no stopping us until we bottom out? And what will that look like?

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