The Method Behind the Scratchings


Thought Scratchings are the bits of brain you leave overnight in a pub and never return for.

Usually hairy.

If any content in Thought Scratchings offends you, get over yourself. You are not twelve. Nobody cares about your tantrums. You are a burden to your environment. You should be offended by all the people dying in Africa from AIDS, you should be offended by our governments turning a blind eye to the genocide in Syria we all know is going on today, you should be offended by false wars and priests raping children.

This is just a blog. Rhymes with frog.

My intention is to make thoughts hop, instead of thoughts sitting by a sign reading “not today.”

So, pull up a bean bag and read through some of this stuff.

If you want to read some interesting books, click on  Deep In The Bin Of Bob, The Squirrel that Dreamt of Madness and Life Knocks, found in headings. If you’re looking for a new read, and fancy supporting a decent writer, then read my reviews and have a go. Seriously, my books are not just good, they are original.

Deep In The Bin Of Bob is a story about a mute Muslim boy who climbs to the top of the tallest building in Bermondsey, London:

Deep In The Bin Of Bob UK Amazon link:

Deep In The Bin Of Bob US Amazon link:

I wrote The Squirrel that Dreamt of Madness homeless and living in a park, and the book is about that experience:

Squirrel UK Amazon link:

Squirrel US Amazon link:

I’ve even posted, on this blog, photographs of the time I lived in the park. Find them under the Squirrel that Dreamt of Madness section.

Life Knocks is a story about when the wheels fall off love and you end up becoming a recluse and living alone with a mental pensioner who wants to make you his best friend.

Life Knocks UK Amazon link:

Life Knocks US Amazon link:


Both these books are £1.94 each. I get £ 1 from each book I sell. I’m not being greedy, I just want people – you – to read me.

I can’t get anywhere without your support, that’s the truth. I am asking for your help, and hoping you just might think behind the method, is more than madness.

How to Hide from Humans is a book written by a sheep telling other sheep how to hide from people. Nathan Filer, 2014 Costa Book Prize winner, said it’s the best 77pence he’s ever spent:

How to Hide from Humans UK link:

How to Hide from Humans US link:

That book is 77 pence. I get 30 pence for each book I sell.

Not much for you, food for me.

So, take a look around, and remember: if you break anything, it doesn’t matter…

Material possessions are all transient.

96 thoughts on “The Method Behind the Scratchings

  1. Hi Craig!
    YOU are now Up and LIVE on my blog! YEAH BABY!….LOL. Hope it looks OK? Thanks for letting me share you with my Writers & Readers…Hugs & Blessings,
    Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon PS….You have been Tweeted, LinkedIn, Google+’d and FBooked!

  2. I too have published a book about my homessness experience of five years, King Street Blues. It may soon be serialised by Tincture Journal. My current book, These Very Wise Voices, available on iBooks, is about secrets revealed to me by voices that only I could hear. This was a resullt of my schizophrenia, for which I have been in a full remission since 2010. Anyway, I’ll definitely have a look at your books and if you’re considering buying TVWV I recommend you wait at least 2 days until I bring its price down, to successfully compete with authors such as your good self.
    And BTW, its largely Roman Catholic priests that rape children. I have recently converted to Protestantism because their priests are allowed to marry.
    Anyway, good luck, and keep me posted!


    1. Hi Denis!

      I will try and buy your books when I can mate, and glad to hear your past troubles are behind you. Certainly, a book written about voices by someone who has actually had the experience holds more power than any writer trying to emulate the experience.

      Haha, yes, the religious blog was a tab contentious 😉

      Best of luck with your work!

  3. Thanks for making it possible to still experience happiness even in this troubled world. I appreciate your good work.

  4. Really looking forward to reading your stuff, starting with ‘The Squirrel that dreamt of Madness.’ There is something so right about you, forthright, and with a heart.

  5. Already downloading all, if your blog is anything to go on can’t wait. It’s refreshing to see that there is someone else who’s willing to say what’s needed. So keep up the good work. Look forward to next.

    1. thanks Elizabeth! Seems that when people are handed success they stop speaking their mind for fear it will be taken away…and as for everyone else, well, people just seem to be happy to go along with all sorts of evil acts committed in their name. Pretty sure my blog won’t and can’t change anything, but at least people know where I stand!

  6. This being an example of your writing, I can’t wait to read your books. I expect I will find them very interesting. Thanks for the books I am buying right away.

    1. thank you! I smile at the compliment about being straight up, from an anonymous source.

      I will call you Rupert, And you will be my bear. And I will bring you marmalade. And we will sing songs about rabbits and eat peanut butter and fall asleep under a tree to the sound of falling leaves.

      If that’s okay.

  7. Man, I clicked on all the links with full intention of buying them. But it’s all Kindle! I don’t have a Kindle! I am not there yet! But I’ve bookmarked your books to buy them on the day I get a Kindle.

    1. Yeah, it’s a pain – I need to raise some money to print on paper. I could print free with Lulu, but then the cheapest I can sell the books for is about £12 – which, nobody is going to buy. One day!

  8. Well if I was bored, I’m not anymore!! Quite an unusal and refreshing blog. I’ll get your books as soon as my pile of books waiting to be reviewed goes down a foot or two–remind me–when I multi-task I foget things.


  9. Thank you for the link your books sound truly inspiring I will definitely be placing an order. Do I get a follow – soozyreed162 😍

  10. Going to get your books, I find your words truly inspiring in this blog and look forward to reading about your unique experiences in life, thank you for the invite x

  11. Please follow me on Twitter. I am a writer in the works. I downloaded samples of your books. I promise to read them. From reading what you’ve posted we just might get along. I have a hamster. I think he is as mad as I am.

    1. thanks! Checked out and following your blog. I like. Squirrel is good, if you get it, stick with it – you might think the prologue makes the books sound too cartoony/childish – but it’s deliberate. I note you enjoy dystopian novels – check out Matt Hills The Folded Man – set in a bleak Manchester, in the near future. Some great writing.

  12. Have: read thought scratchings; downloaded kindle for iPhone (1hour 47mins); Squirrels; Knocks; Hiding (nearly 2 hours) and will read once helming duties are over. Currently facing braw Hebridian weather, dreaming of miraculous city broadband speeds & missing the feeling in all ten digits. Will comment on your brave writings once I’ve dried out & skipper’s finished yelling.


    1. for the iphone? Wow. That is dedication. If, at the end of reading, your eyeballs are inverted and you can only see a steaming brain for the rest of your life, please don’t sue me. Thank you for DL and giving me a try. Lovely of you.

  13. I am so glad you are on my Twitter! I love this blog of yours. I am struggling, but in a very different way. I will most definitely be purchasing some of your works. I have no doubt that they will be funny, brutally honest, yet inspiring. Thank you so much for finding me. Life truly has its purposes!!!

    1. Hi Jack – thanks for taking a look around. Nope, never heard of it…But I just checked, and pretty flattered you think I remind you a bit of Terkel. I’ve added “Working” to my list of books to read. Sounds fascinating. Many thanks for the tip.

  14. Thanks for the silent chuckle. I randomly found you on Twitter and I’m glad you linked me here!

    1. thanks Mara! People seem to be loving the reads, they are honest, direct. Funny – often at my own expense. Occasionally offensive – but they come from a good place, and my intention is only to leave a smile on the face, and a thought – something to think about in the brain.

  15. robolollycop, I love your wild and creative wit. I am a humor writer so I fully appreciate your ability to squeeze your eyes shut and contact a wee bit of madness. You make me laugh and laughing is, by far, my favorite thing in life. Keep up the great work. I will seek out your books.

  16. do forgive, i would have replied to your non stop direct messages and … fervently told you how much i enjoyed your wit, but alas and well, I am following me following you are not….

    1. What is your twitter handle Sandy? I will follow. The direct messages are a machine, acting on my behalf. Sometimes it gets out of control. I’ll put it in a bowl of water at 3pm today for you 🙂

  17. Great writing, so honest. I’m going to get your books and if they read as well as your blog then I have an interesting week ahead of me. I’ve only just signed up for a blog and yours is one of the most original I have read yet. Thanks.

    1. Thank you Iauaro, and anonymous.
      Thanks Ladyelogos – very kind of you – one thing, it’s okay to swear here. This isn’t Facebook 😉
      Thank you all for reading my blog.

      (now go and buy my *fucking books!) ;)xxxx

      *swear word used to disassociate blog readers from Facebook syndrome.
      *not that I’m saying you have Facebook syndrome ladyelogos, you were probably just raised well.
      *but you probably have Facebook syndrome. We all do.

  18. You’ve got a heart talking from inside you. It is so true. I did not see any trace of hypocrisy at all. Thanks for sharing me your blog. I hope I can also make one for myself, because I believe I also have so much to share about my own true to life experiences. God bless 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s